I’m back from my Internet break!! Well, maybe. Let’s catch up!
Hi I’m so happy to be back! I’m due for my annual blog post haha. I’ve actually taken a break from blogging, podcasting, and YouTube which makes me sad, because those are some of my favorite ways to express my true feelings on the Internet.
It’s funny actually, this blog is the reason I ended up in NYC for an internship and ultimately lead me to the life I currently live. This blog started way before any of my social media platforms started. I started this website as a way to write about college/sorority life and update my friends and family at home. Yet I’ve neglected this blog so much after graduating from college!
That could be a deep dive for another time, let’s just catch up for now! For the past 9 months I’ve been focusing on Instagram and Tik Tok, which has been both draining but also exciting. Instagram has been a difficult platform to grow on so my focus there has been maintaining & connecting deeper with my audience, creating quality content that makes me happy. On the other hand, I’ve seen more growth on Tik Tok which has been really exciting to me! I’ve found a niche in career/OneNote/fashion content and I love the people I’ve been able to meet through this platform.
Soooo… what about my career? You know, the full-time job?
This is the biggest update I’ve had since moving to NYC 3.5 years ago! As you probably know, I left my first post-grad job as an Assistant Buyer for Follett in Illinois to move to New York City and become an Assistant Buyer for Ross. That was a scary decision to make because I was changing jobs for the first time ever on top of moving halfway across the country. And I’m so thankful I made that decision because living here has been the best experience!
I’ve been content at my job for the last 3.5 years. I always felt appreciated at my company and I noticed it the most during the pandemic. Being in retail at the beginning of the lockdowns was scary because stores across the country had closed down and people weren’t buying clothes. Most retailers furloughed their corporate offices and almost everyone I know at other retail companies had been furloughed. I was grateful to have a job during that time and have a sense of stability when the rest of the world seemed to be falling apart.
But soon afterwards I started to feel burnt out. The workload became more than it ever had been once stores reopened, and there were a few extremely stressful months where I was working long hours and even working on Sunday to try and catch up/get ahead. I started feeling more and more unhappy and considered applying to other jobs, but was so overwhelmed that I felt like I didn’t have the time. Because on top of my full time job, I also work out daily and work on content creation/my side hustles so there wasn’t much free time to spend updating my resume, applying to jobs, interviewing, etc.
I think the problem with burnout is that it’s hard to bounce back from. I think taking breaks is crucial when this happens, but unfortunately in the corporate world it isn’t always that easy. You can’t just take a two week break or cut back your hours – you have to request PTO, get it approved, and catch up on your workload when you return. Looking back, I regret not using any PTO during those extremely stressful few months because maybe I could have prevented all the negative feelings that followed.
I used to be excited about going above and beyond at work and even spent my free time doing trend research and putting together recaps. But after that experience, I just wanted to do the bare minimum at work. I started feeling negative and drained by each day. It definitely impacted my performance and I started to feel stuck. I knew I wasn’t performing my best and I started to feel stuck. In order for me to get to the next level I needed to give more effort and I had zero desire to do so.
So in February of 2022 I started getting curious about what else was out there. My workload was still busy, but less so than it had been. I had enough energy at the end of the day to scroll LinkedIn, update my resume, network, etc. At first I started looking at similar roles just at new companies. But the more I thought about it, I realized that my company was not the problem at all. The people I work with are incredible and supportive. Moving my role over to another retailer with the same job and new people was not going to resolve the issues I was struggling with.
I thought back on my previous jobs/internships and remembered how I felt doing my summer internship here in New York City when I was 19 years old. It was at a startup company in social media marketing and I loved going to work every day. I loved the experience of working at a small startup and I thrived in that environment. I’m someone who loves feeling secure though so my goal was to work at a corporate company so that’s what I did after that internship. I also loved social media so much as a passion, I was scared to ever turn it into a full time job because I was scared it would burn me out the way that Buying eventually did.
And I think I really needed to work at a corporate company like I did for the first four years out of college while the rest of my life was getting settled. Working for a corporate company is what allowed me to stay in NYC during a pandemic when so many of my friends had to leave. It was exactly what I needed for that chapter of my life. However as of a few months ago, corporate life started to feel too intense for me. I feel uninspired by it. Also as an introvert with a touch of social anxiety, I found it hard to speak up in work meetings and really grow or thrive. I do better in smaller group settings where I feel like I truly know my coworkers – and I’m anxious in larger group settings where I don’t really know the people around me.
So when an opportunity in marketing at a startup showed up, I was so excited and thought it could be a sign. I do believe in manifestation and that the universe places things in your path when you’re ready for it. But I also believe that you have to work in order for things to happen for you. So I applied to the role, but didn’t put a lot of energy towards it at first. I didn’t want to get any hopes up. But after the first phone call for that role I started to get so stoked for it. And four interviews later, I started to envision myself working with the people I had interviewed with and pictured myself in the role they had described to me.
I realized that maybe this could be for me, even if it’s a lot riskier than my previous jobs.
And that brings us to about two weeks ago. I received an offer at this new company. I also just received an annual bonus and salary raise from my current company. I compared the two, did a little bit of negotiating, and ultimately the better offer was coming from the startup company. I did a lot of reflecting and overall came to the conclusion –
I’ve been wanting to test out a full-time role in Marketing and haven’t had that opportunity yet since my resume isn’t built for it. And I had just been given an offer that aligns with everything I’m looking for and it’s a better offer than I imagined getting. So why wouldn’t I accept it? It would be silly of me to turn down this opportunity that has the potential to completely change my life and my future career.
I finally made the decision – I accepted this new role. I’m STOKED you guys!
I resigned from my Assistant Buyer role, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do – again, I really love my coworkers and they would have been the only reason I stayed. But you can’t stay in a place that makes you unhappy just to make others happy. It’s your life and you have to do what’s best for you. It’s only been a few days but I do not regret it. I know what doesn’t make me happy, and I’m excited to explore something new that has the potential to make me the happiest version of myself.
This ended up being way longer than it should have been but if you’ve read this far, I appreciate you!! If you’re going through a similar situation or relate to this at all, I see you. This was HARD and I wouldn’t wish the last few weeks of anxiety I’ve had onto anyone. But I hope that this post helps you in some way. If you ever need to talk to someone about your career decisions, I am here for you!!
